#14 Thing I Love: Blue Like Jazz

Blue Like Jazz is a book on Christian spirituality by Donald Miller. Normally, I wouldn't really be interested in something like this. I don't necessarily like authors who preach, and hearing about conservative ways of looking at Christianity. I purchased the book a few years ago because I heard of it's motivation that it provided Renee, the girl behind my favorite organization To Write Love on Her Arms.

I bought the book with full intention to see what the hype was all about. Naturally, school and other things got in the way, so I never got around to it. This past summer I was convinced to read it, finish it, and enjoy it. Yes, I was going to force myself to enjoy it.

Little did I know that this book wasn't just a preacher forcing spirituality down your throat. It's a man with struggles, and doubts. He has friends with problems. He has vices and issues that make him human. A humble writer who has really lived life to the fullest. A man who loves Jesus.

He doesn't really tell what his denomination is, but he intelligently goes through his faith and really examines it.

Miller does so with humor and stories of his own life, that make the reader really relate to him and connect their own faith with the stories and experiences he and his friends have had.

It didn't really take me long to finish reading Blue Like Jazz. I enjoyed the way he spoke about being a Christian, and I really identified with it. I never thought I'd enjoy a book that talks about faith in such depth. I was fascinated with his ideas, insights, and the way that he immersed himself in a culture of opening up and really discussing the bottom line of his faith.

Some of my favorite quotes:

"Believing in God is as much like falling in love as it is making a decision. Love is both something that happens to you and something you decide upon."

"...sometimes you have to watch somebody love something before you can love it yourself..."

""I never liked jazz music because jazz music doesn't resolve. But I was outside the Bagdad Theater in Portland one night when I saw a man playing the saxophone. I stood there for fifteen minutes, and he never opened his eyes.

After that I liked jazz music. "

" I will give you this, my love, and I will not bargain or barter any longer. I will love you, as sure as He has loved me. I will discover what I can discover and though you remain a mystery, save God's own knowledge, what I disclose of you I will keep in the warmest chamber of my heart, the very chamber where God has stowed Himself in me. And I will do this to my death, and to death it may bring me.
I will love you like God, because of God, mighted by the power of God. I will stop expecting your love, demanding you love, trading for your love, gaming for your love. I will simply love. I am giving myself to you, and tomorrow I will do it again. I suppose the clock itself will wear thin its time before I am ended at this altar of dying and dying again.
God risked Himself on me. I will risk myself on you. And together, we will learn to love, and perhaps then, and only then, understand this gravity that drew Him, unto us."

""Dying for something is easy because it is associated with glory. Living for something is the hard thing. Living for something extends beyond fashion, glory, or recognition. We live for what we believe."

"Writers don't make any money at all. We make about a dollar. It is terrible. But then again we don't work either. We sit around in our underwear until noon then go downstairs and make coffee, fry some eggs, read the paper, read part of a book, smell the book, wonder if perhaps we ourselves should work on our book, smell the book again, throw the book across the room because we are quite jealous that any other person wrote a book, feel terribly guilty about throwing the schmuck's book across the room because we secretly wonder if God in heaven noticed our evil jealousy, or worse, our laziness. We then lie across the couch facedown and mumble to God to forgive us because we are secretly afraid He is going to dry up all our words because we envied another man's stupid words. And for this, as I said, we are paid a dollar. We are worth so much more."

"The most difficult lie I have ever contended with is this: life is a story about me."

"Everybody wants to be fancy and new. Nobody wants to be themselves. I mean, maybe people want to be themselves, but they want to be different, with different clothes or shorter hair or less fat. It's a fact. If there was a guy who just liked being himself and didn't want to be anybody else, that guy would be the most different guy in the world and everybody would want to be him."

-Catherine

#15 Thing I Love: Learning About Different Religions

As it's been noted previously, I consider myself a pretty faithful person. My background is Roman Catholic, and I consider myself to be a fairly liberal Catholic. Do I believe in abortion? No, not for myself. Do I believe that homosexuals should get married? Yes.
I don't agree with everything the Catholic church has to offer. However, I love it.
In all honesty, if the Jesuits had their own entire religion revolved around Catholic Social Teaching and social justice...that's what I would be. My experience at St. Joe's has really opened my mind up to that.

For a few years I have gone back and forth about whether or not I really am a Catholic since I differ in some ways. I also love the idea of contemporary Christian worship. Running interdenominational camps like I do with Group Workcamps Foundation doesn't really help this inner debate.

Despite my love for Catholic Social Teaching...I love learning about other denominations and religions other than Christianity. This past semester, for example, I took a course about Judaism, and I absolutely loved it.

There's something amazing to see how other people worship God, or to see what they believe in. Religion is a powerful thing to have in this world. It has caused wars, destroyed countries, and has also saved so many lives. It gives people meaning and hope in this crazy world. However, everyone has a different way of praying and finding a faith of their liking. It's beautiful to see and learn these things. I believe that learning about a different religion or different denomination gives one a new feeling of grace and pride in their own religion. Having to explain or defend Catholicism to those of a different denomination is a beautiful thing because we find so much in common and come to understandings. It is like a way of restoring peace and erasing judgements that we all have about other faiths that have differing opinions from our own.

God bless, or whoever you believe in...
-Cat

#16 Thing I Love: My Summer Job

So this summer, and last summer, I have had the amazing opportunity to work for a wonderful organization: Group Workcamps Foundation.

What is it? http://groupworkcamps.com/Workcamps/Pages/default.aspx
-Basically youth groups from all over the country invade a community, live on air-mattresses in classrooms of a local school, and do home repair for needy families in that community.

What do I do? http://groupworkcamps.com/Workcamps/Pages/SummerStaffintroduction.aspx
-I'm part of a crew of 4 (there are several crews) who travel together all summer in a Ryder Truck and a Chevy Cobalt...we go to different places to set up these amazing camps. We all have different positions...mine is Office Manager.

Last summer this job took me to Rocky Mount-VA, Sullivan-IL, Baltimore-MD
This summer I've been to Coshocon-OH, Indianapolis-IN, Winston-Salem-NC
Not to mention our two week training period in Estes Park, Colorado (which we drive back to at the end of the summer), and the travel time in between camps.

Basically, I couldn't have asked for a better way to spend summer...traveling, serving people, meeting new people, and growing in my faith.

if you want to know more: http://summerstaffing.blogspot.com/
-Cat

Beauty and the Tragedy

what an amazing song by Trading Yesterday

Watch your step, love is broken
I am every tear you cry
Save your breath, your heart has spoken
You already have my life

For I am finding out that love will kill and save me
Taking the dreams that made me up
And tearing them away
But the same love will take this heart that's barely beating
And fill it with hope beyond the stars
Only love

Another day, another sunrise
Washing over everything
In its time, love will be mine
The beauty and the tragedy

For I am finding out that love will kill and save me
Taking the dreams that made me up
And tearing them away
But the same love will take this heart that's barely beating
And fill it with hope beyond the stars
Only love
Only love, love, love

For I am finding out that love will kill and save me

#17 Thing I Love: Outrageous Amounts of Snow

Here in the Philadelphia area, we experienced a weekend full of a Outrageous Amounts of Snow.

How would I describe Outrageous Amounts of Snow?

Well I'm not good at the whole inches/feet guesstimation business...so I describe an Outrageous Amount of Snow by the fact that I couldn't really leave my house all weekend, that it stopped snowing Saturday and yet schools are still closed Monday.

Outrageous right?

oh and every restaurant on City ave was closed.

More outrageous.

At least the Super Bowl is still going on?
Oh wait, I don't care.

http://www.nbcphiladelphia.com/weather/stories/Images-Snow-Pets--83725252.html

-Cat

#18 Thing I Love: Pedro Arrupe Quote

Nothing is more practical than finding God, that is, than falling in a love in a quite absolute, final way. What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination will affect everything. It will decide what will get you out of bed in the mornings, what you will do with your evenings, how you spend your weekends, what you read, who you know, what breaks your heart, and what amazes you with joy and gratitude. Fall in love, stay in love, and it will decide everything.-Pedro Arrupe SJ.

There really is nothing to dislike about this quote. Even if you're not religious, do not believe in God at all, this just speaks to the soul. Whether you're simple, or the most intellectual person in the world...this quote just encompasses what a lot of people feel about love, faith and life.

-Cat

#19 Thing I Love: Happier by A Fine Frenzy

So I love everything by A Fine Frenzy. Her first album was phenomenal. Her next album "Bomb in a Birdcage" is just as good, but with more variety.
She rightly picked the first single to be "Happier". What I love about this song is that it is not what you expect at first glance. When you listen to it you can't help but be in a "happy" mood. After all the song is called "happier". The tune is just catchy. However, then you look at the lyrics...and it's not really all that happy. I love it. Obviously, A Fine Frenzy wasn't the first to use this little switch, but it still cracks me up. My emotions get so confused when I listen to this song hahah.

"Quick kid quick, so harsh and cynical
Touches stricken, cold and clinical
What a transformation to behold
But I don't like this new, I want the old

It's not the words that make it final
You've said such things such things before to rival them
But it's how you say 'em now that's changed
Cold but sympathetic all the same

Lie to convince me that I'll be better off
Oh, you go on and I'll be happier, I'll be happier
You go on, yeah, you go on
You'll be gone and I'll be happier

Shoot me with your rubber bullets
Your finger's on the trigger, pull it
I know you want this suffering to end
So it is forgivable my friend

It's all to convince me that I'll be better off
So you go on and I'll be happier,
You go on and I'll be happier
You go on, yeah, you go on
You'll be gone and I'll be happier

Bo-bo-ba-do-bo
Bo-bo-ba-do-bo-da-da-da

Say what you mean, what you mean
Cause you'll be happier without me, without me, without me, oh

You won't convince me, that I'll be better off
So you go on and I'll be happier, I'll be happier
You go on, you go
You'll be gone, and I'll be gone
You go on and I'll be happier, you go on and I'll be happier
You go on, you go on, you go on and I'll go on and I'll be happier
You on and I'll be happier, you go on and I'll be happier

You go on, and I'll be happier"

#20 Thing I Love: Dance Movies

There's something about a movie where people have more talent than I do. I can't dance for my life. I could probably fake it if I tried, but let's be serious, I will never be like Baby from Dirty Dancing. I mean maybe if Patrick Swayze was around to step in and save my moves there might be hope. I normally awkwardly stand in the corner doing the head nod, or even the Jersey fist pump.
However, whenever I watch movies revolving around dance...I get happy. I get a little bit jealous, but for that hour and a half or so I'm transplanted to a new place where I'm a fabulous dancer. I can bust moves, break dance, and not embarrass myself while doing so.

Oh...
And I'm dating Channing Tatum in this dream world.

#21 Thing I Love: September by Daughtry

this song is defining my life currently, especially this summer.
pathetic yet true...


Half the time passed away
All the trouble that we gave
And all those day we spent out by the lake
Has it all gone to waste?
All the promises we made
One by one they vanished just the same

All the things I still remember
Summers never look the same
Years go by and time just seems to fly
But the memories remain
In the middle of the September
We still play out in the rain
Nothing to lose but everything to gain
Reflecting on how things could've been
It was worth it in the end

Now it all seems so clear
There's nothing left to fear
So we made our way by finding what was real
Now the days are so long
That summer's moving on
Reach for something that's already gone

All the things I still remember
Summers never look the same
Years go by and time just seems to fly
But the memories remain
In the middle of the September
We still play out in the rain
Nothing to lose but everything to gain
Reflecting on how things could've been
It was worth it in the end

Yeah, We knew we had to leave this town
But we never knew when and we never knew how
We would up here the way we are

We knew we had to leave this town
But we never knew when and we never knew how

All the things I still remember
Summers never look the same
Years go by and time just seems to fly
But the memories remain
In the middle of the September
We still play out in the rain
Nothing to lose but everything to gain
Reflecting on how things could've been
It was worth it in the end

#22 Thing I Love: Short Hair

So I just got my haircut super short. I just love short hair...it's so easy to deal with...and just always refreshing when you get it cut. It's like a huge weight is just gone...one less thing to stress about.

Of course it helps that it's about 100 degrees here with humidity and i was dying today with the long locks.

#23 Thing I Love: The Shack

So around Christmas time, I read a book entitled "The Shack". This was when the book first began it's popularity. I had heard about it through Hayley Williams' blog and I was very intrigued by the summary on the back of the book. I must admit, despite finding the topic of faith and religion interesting to discuss, I never seem to like reading about it. I feel that some authors can be a little on the preachy side, but William Paul Young's interpretation of a man who has been through great sadness in his life and his encounter with the three versions of God was one of the greatest books I've ever read.

Here are some quotes:

Papa: “The problem is that many folks try to grasp some sense of who I am by taking the best version of themselves, projecting that to the nth degree, factoring in all the goodness they can perceive, which often isn’t much, and then call that God. And while it may seem like a noble effort, it falls pitifully short of who I really am. I’m not merely the best version of you that you can think of. I am far more than that, above and beyond all that you can ask or think” (98).

Sarayu: “Both evil and darkness can only be understood in relation to Light and Good; they do not have any actual existence. I am Light and I am Good. I am Love and there is no darkness in me. Light and Good actually exist. So, removing yourself from me will plunge you into darkness. Declaring independence will result in evil because apart from me, you can only draw upon yourself. That is death because you have separated from me: Life” (136).

Sarayu: “Mack, if anything matters than everything matters. Because you are important, everything you do is important. Every time you forgive, the universe changes; every time you reach out and touch a heart or a life, the world changes; with every kindness and service, seen or unseen, my purposes are accomplished and nothing will ever be the same again” (235)

#24 Thing That I Love: Jerry MaGuire

Alright, let's be serious. What's not to love about a movie with a pre-crazy Scientology and Katie Holmes, Tom Cruise. Cuba Gooding Jr. in let's face it, his probably only good career move. And a younger, more girl next door Renee Zellweger. Add that cute little kid with the glasses who has a froggy voice, and you got movie magic.

When I was younger and saw it for the first time...the only cool thing about it was that it had curse words and I felt bad ass watching it. However, it was on sale for $5 in Wal-Mart, and I couldn't help but buy it...and I basically fell in love with it.
First, you have a guy who is realizing his job is to lie to people, and basically take their money...and he realizes it's wrong...just a good message.
Second, the same guy has never had a true relationship in his life...and he's exposed to the love his client Rod Tidwell shows to his wife and family, and then to this little innocent boy Ray, son of Dorothy (Zellweger). Dorothy happens to be madly in love with him.
Besides having some great lines..."You had me at hello" anyone? The movie is just a feel good show at human nature and this guy finally starting his life over again in his thirties, with a whole new outlook.

Also for years I could always quote that whole "You complete me" part, but I never realized the significance until I rewatched it the other day. In one of the first scenes between Jerry and Dorothy they are in an elevator with a hearing impaired couple, and the guy signs to his girlfriend. When the couple leaves Jerry jokingly goes.."Wonder what he said" (after all the couple was making out so he probably assumed it was something dirty) to which Dorothy replies, "My aunt is hearing impaired...he said 'You complete me'." I never noticed that the line had appeared before.

Finally, what's not to love about a movie that has an amazing Bruce Springsteen song as its theme.

25 Things I Love

So I'm stealing this from Tara-Leigh Cobble, who stole this from somebody. Each blog is a "countdown" of 25 of my favorite things. Nothing is in order, and they're just small things that either we take for granted or little known things that I'd like people know about.

# 25 Thing That I Love:
Found Magazine (http://foundmagazine.com/about)

This site is so much fun. It's actually the site that inspired Frank Warren to start his PostSecret blog. Peopl can send little notes, photographs, drawings, or whatever, that they randomly find. It is then posted on the site and interpreted. Some of the stuff found on there can be as small or insignificant as a drawing a kid drew, or a family photograph that got tossed aside...but to someone it means or meant the world.


Some of my favorite "finds":









These are just 2 that put a smile on my face. Of course, some of them are a lot more serious, but interesting and a great way to spend some time when you're bored!

stand unafraid...

Dear little girl, so much hurt for such a young age.
Trapped inside a pretty little lie.
Your bodies betrayed.

Don't fix your eyes on a fix you rely on.
Fixed her eyes on a fix she relies upon.

Stand unafraid, all the good souls stand on unafraid.

When life starts to burn, and the pain returns.
I just wish that I could heal the hurt you feel tonight.
There's life in your veins. These needles are chains to hold you down.
How can you expect to win this war?
Too afraid to fight. Are you too afraid to fight?

Dear little one, there was so much pain.
Time you can't replace.
Trapped inside, too afraid to cry.
And now hands and bruises cover face.

Don't fix your eyes on a fix you rely on.
Fixed her eyes on a fix...

When life starts to burn, and the pain returns.
I just wish that I could heal the hurt you feel tonight.
There's life in your veins. These needles are chains to hold you down.
How can you expect to win this war if you're too afraid to fight?

Stand unafraid.
All the good souls stand unafraid.
Stand unafraid, all the good souls stand unafraid.

When life starts to burn, and the pain returns.
I just wish that I could heal the hurt you feel tonight.
There's life in your veins. These needles are chains to hold you down.
How can you expect to win this war if you're too afraid to fight?
When life starts to burn, and the pain returns.
I just wish that I could heal the hurt you feel tonight.
There's life in your veins. These needles are chains to hold you down.
How can you expect to win this war if you're too afraid to fight?



why is this song so perfect?

fall baby, fall.

I saw the first red leaf today and a part of me wanted to jump up and down.

Something about fall...that first chill in the air...the way the wind blows hair in your face and your cheeks and nose get just a little cold. The crunch underneath your feet when you step on a leaf. The way the taste of a warm apple cider from Starbucks taste for the first time...The red, orange, yellows, and browns. They all blend together and I can't help but smile.

RA-ing is going good, the responsibility is a little much, but bearable. For some reason worrying so much about other people has made my own problems seem so minuscule, even though their issues are probably smaller than some of mine...it's still nice putting some things into perspective.


oh fall. you bring out the best in me.

love.

Then you tell me...
You say that love goes anywhere
In your darkest time, it's just enough to know it's there
When you go, I'll let you be
But you're killing everything in me

I'm done, there's nothing left to show
I try but can't let it go
Are you happy where you're standing still?
Do you really want the sugar pill?
I'll wake up tomorrow and I'll start
Tonight it feels so hard
As the train approaches Gare Du Nord
As I'm sure your kiss remains employed
Am I only dreaming?

oh sigh...life has a funny way of bringing songs in and out of my life. it has a funny way of making me feel different emotions. good emotions, but different.
i'm on a jimmy eat world kick the past few days...and i love this song. i love most of their stuff, just because it's all not so typical.
i'm falling back in love with switchfoot these days too.
and lifehouse.
basically i'm loving a whole lot of different music.

freshman year of college is about to end. if you told me a year ago where i'd be in life today, what it would all look like...i would have killed myself. however, i'm sitting here right now...happy. happiest i've ever been in a really long time.
i've found things about myself.
i've found friendships.
and most of all i've found God in everything.


pretty much life is grrreat.

Irish Blessing

"I wish you not a path devoid of clouds, nor a life on a bed of roses,
Not that you might never need regret,
nor that you should never feel pain.
No, that is not my wish for you.

My wish for you is:
That you might be brave in times of trial,
when others lay crosses upon your shoulders.
When mountains must be climbed and chasms are to be crossed,
When hope can scarce shine through.
That every gift God gave you might grow with you
and let you give your gift of joy to all who care for you.
That you may always have a friend who is worth that name,
whom you can trust and who helps you in times of sadness,
Who will defy the storms of daily life at your side.

One more wish I have for you:
That in every hour of joy and pain you may feel God close to you.
This is my wish for you and for all who care for you.
This is my hope for you now and forever."

Iris Says

It’s kind of like watching your worst nightmare unravel right before your eyes, but you can’t wake up. Your eyes are glued so tightly together, and no matter how many times you rub them, or however many times you convince yourself that in a few moments it will all go away...it doesn’t. Iris says that you can’t fight the tears that ain’t coming. I never thought it would be true, until now, looking down at her. The tears should be flowing like a faucet, but instead I stand, shocked and in awe at the site before me. I can’t move my arms, legs, or lips. I used to have such a strong grasp on situations like these, I used to be calm, cool, collective.
Iris says all I can breathe is your life, but she’s so weak, and her life is fading so fast. She tries to speak, but she doesn’t have enough energy. She was once so strong, and she’s been reduced to this.
I bend down next to her and kiss her hand. People lay in bed; sick and weak, every day, but it feels like no one will ever understand this. I try to apologize, but it’s too late. Iris says everything is made to be broken. This is life isn’t it. The tears still aren’t coming, and when I breathe in it’s akin to a knife to the chest. Iris says you’re the closest to heaven that I’ll ever be.
I don’t want to leave her side. I just want to sit, and wait. I sit and wait because away from her side is no one. Away from her side is total loneliness.

Iris says you bleed just to know you’re alive.
Iris says I just want you to know who I am...but she knows. She’s the only one who does.
What Iris doesn’t say is that I’ll miss you, and I am missing you, and that just because this is life...I thought you’d be stronger than it.

Iris says I’d give up forever to touch you...and as I’m squeezing your hand...I know that you feel me somehow.

music from the past.

So I stumbled across a video today, a video that I technically was looking for...but I didn't really want to find it. My heart was pounding in my chest, and my horrible past seemed to be right in front of me.
I wanted to know what you were thinking when you were singing? Were you focusing on the past too? Did you remember, like I remember everyday?

Do those chords remind you of simpler times? Do they bring you back to another time...and suddenly I'm hit with a realization that I can't ask you these questions for an answer, I can't tell you what they remind me of.

I stumbled across this video and one day it hits like a ton of bricks, and everything I've ever had, and everything I've ever known, it's gone. And when I hear those songs play, that soundtrack to my life, I can't help but cry, and I can't help but miss it. but one day I wont hit next...I'll listen to them. I'll let the music overwhelm me, and I'll smile. smile fondly on the past.

I hope you can smile too.

Sunday Bloody Sunday

just something i threw together