Irish Blessing

"I wish you not a path devoid of clouds, nor a life on a bed of roses,
Not that you might never need regret,
nor that you should never feel pain.
No, that is not my wish for you.

My wish for you is:
That you might be brave in times of trial,
when others lay crosses upon your shoulders.
When mountains must be climbed and chasms are to be crossed,
When hope can scarce shine through.
That every gift God gave you might grow with you
and let you give your gift of joy to all who care for you.
That you may always have a friend who is worth that name,
whom you can trust and who helps you in times of sadness,
Who will defy the storms of daily life at your side.

One more wish I have for you:
That in every hour of joy and pain you may feel God close to you.
This is my wish for you and for all who care for you.
This is my hope for you now and forever."

Iris Says

It’s kind of like watching your worst nightmare unravel right before your eyes, but you can’t wake up. Your eyes are glued so tightly together, and no matter how many times you rub them, or however many times you convince yourself that in a few moments it will all go away...it doesn’t. Iris says that you can’t fight the tears that ain’t coming. I never thought it would be true, until now, looking down at her. The tears should be flowing like a faucet, but instead I stand, shocked and in awe at the site before me. I can’t move my arms, legs, or lips. I used to have such a strong grasp on situations like these, I used to be calm, cool, collective.
Iris says all I can breathe is your life, but she’s so weak, and her life is fading so fast. She tries to speak, but she doesn’t have enough energy. She was once so strong, and she’s been reduced to this.
I bend down next to her and kiss her hand. People lay in bed; sick and weak, every day, but it feels like no one will ever understand this. I try to apologize, but it’s too late. Iris says everything is made to be broken. This is life isn’t it. The tears still aren’t coming, and when I breathe in it’s akin to a knife to the chest. Iris says you’re the closest to heaven that I’ll ever be.
I don’t want to leave her side. I just want to sit, and wait. I sit and wait because away from her side is no one. Away from her side is total loneliness.

Iris says you bleed just to know you’re alive.
Iris says I just want you to know who I am...but she knows. She’s the only one who does.
What Iris doesn’t say is that I’ll miss you, and I am missing you, and that just because this is life...I thought you’d be stronger than it.

Iris says I’d give up forever to touch you...and as I’m squeezing your hand...I know that you feel me somehow.

music from the past.

So I stumbled across a video today, a video that I technically was looking for...but I didn't really want to find it. My heart was pounding in my chest, and my horrible past seemed to be right in front of me.
I wanted to know what you were thinking when you were singing? Were you focusing on the past too? Did you remember, like I remember everyday?

Do those chords remind you of simpler times? Do they bring you back to another time...and suddenly I'm hit with a realization that I can't ask you these questions for an answer, I can't tell you what they remind me of.

I stumbled across this video and one day it hits like a ton of bricks, and everything I've ever had, and everything I've ever known, it's gone. And when I hear those songs play, that soundtrack to my life, I can't help but cry, and I can't help but miss it. but one day I wont hit next...I'll listen to them. I'll let the music overwhelm me, and I'll smile. smile fondly on the past.

I hope you can smile too.