Beginning of the End

This is the beginning to a whole story...it's kind of like the prologue to what I hope to make a pretty long story...who knows if that ever works out.
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Nineteen is far too young for someone to be in this condition, Dan found himself repeatedly thinking to himself. He sat in the waiting room, cold. These places are so cold and depressing, was another thought that ran through his head, I mean do they even want you to have a glimmer of happiness? He was going on roughly forty-five minutes of sleep withing the past forty-eight hours, and it showed. He had left his chair twice within those hours, both times to use the restroom. He was on a first-name basis with two of the nurses and had already memorized every single poster in the room. By now he had learned from various magazines the proper Heimlich maneuver techniques, the importance of CPR, Britney Spears' latest escapades, and that Jesus Christ resurrected himself in the form of a baby named Stanley. Dan read until his eyes began to burn and tear and he was not sure if he was really crying or not.

On both bathroom trips he refused to look into his own eyes and see what exactly his restlessness over the past two days had made him look like. He could tell from the questioning looks of the nurses, and the different mother's pulling their children away from his general direction, that his appearance must not be very good at all. His dirty blond hair was disheveled from the numerous amount of times he ran his fingers through it because of stress. His bloodshot green eyes would remind people of Christmas, they were that vibrant. He had the slightest bit of scruff from not shaving in a week. Add in paleness, chapped lips, bobbing off to sleep on a few random occasions, and the average person would think that Dan should be a patient instead of a visitor.

His eye lids were weighing down, his head was pounding like a drum, and he was not sure if he could last another hour. Dan began to stare off into the distance, finding himself in another place, another time. He heard a laugh, unmistakable, he felt arms around his neck, he could not help but smile, and in the distance it was a whisper Dan...He knew that voice anywhere, he smiled more, because he knew his name was being said with a smile. The arms around his neck were on his shoulder and shaking harder and harder, and his name was no longer being said with a whisper and a smile, "Dan!!" He blinked and the tears from keeping his eyes open from that long. "Are you okay? Do you need help?" He looked next to him and saw another tired face, another man going on no sleep, but without even looking at himself, Dan knew the other man looked better than he did.
"Hey..." He rubbed his eyes to wake himself up even more.
"You alright, you weren't even answering for five minutes," Ryan still had his hand on Dan's shoulder . Ryan had short dark black hair, that was sticking up in all sort of directions at this point. His piercing green eyes were staring Dan down in a worrisome look.
"Yeah man, I'm just fine," Dan moved back forcing Ryan to take his hand off of him. Dan sighed a little as he rubbed his eyes once more. "Have you heard anything yet?" Ryan shook his head and sighed as well, leaning back in his seat.
"I talked to one of the nurses and she said the doctors are going to get back to us within the hour," Ryan wasn't looking at Dan, just off into a daze like Dan had just been a few minutes ago. When Ryan finally looked back at Dan he saw that he could barely keep his eyes open anymore. "Go on home, take a nap and relax," He put his hand back on Dan's shoulder but Dan just moved it off.
"I just need some fresh air," Dan sat up and found himself wobbling a little and the room spinning. Ryan jumped up to help but Dan put a hand up, "I just need air, that's all."

The air immediately outside the hospital automatic doors hit Dan like a brick to the face. It was cold, but he was already so numb that he did not regret not bringing his jacket outside. The wind to his face made his eyes tear even more, but it was clearing them out as well so he didn't mind the least bit. The New York City winter air was refreshing compared to the bleak inside of the hospital. He was taking deep breaths just so he could see his own breath in the night sky. He loved this city with all his heart, he loved looking up on clear nights being able to catch a glimpse at some stars, right above the towering buildings. However, he always hated how small he could feel with just one look at his surroundings. Just by walking down a street he could go from feeling on top of the world, to realizing he was completely insignificant in this world. That feeling usually haunted him on normal nights, but tonight was not normal. It was a night where he did not want to feel insignificant to anyone, he wanted the world to know his problems and make them go away. He did not want this pain anymore, and he wanted all of New York City to know. It's not fair, ran through his head over and over again and nothing was changing his mind. It's not fair. It's not fair.

Dan walked off the property of the hospital to the end of their driveway to a busy city street. New Yorkers were passing by indifferent to the world around them. That's how he usually was, but he wanted to grab them and beg them to listen to him. He wanted to be cared for by one of them, anybody. He was normally not like this, he did not like this desperation and wanted it to go away. He normally was not this whiny about his life, he never would have if it weren't for one event to change it all. He found himself leaning against a wall of the outside of the hospital looking at the people passing him by, eventually sitting on the cold cement. He heard bells and a group a little ways down the block singing some Christmas songs, and a soft smile crept to his face. People were looking into the windows of shops and all bundled up in coats, hats, scarves, and gloves. Then there was him sitting in jeans and white, worn in t-shirt. He breathed in the fresh December air as he closed his eyes and put his head back against the wall. He looked up and there he saw it, a tiny, white, flurry.
Seeing that little white spec made him smile even bigger. He looked down the street and saw a little girl pulling on her fathers coat and pointing up to the flurries in the light. People found themselves smiling and looking up at the street lights to see the flurries, in more abundance now, come down. An entire city block united for a whole five minutes before an ambulance raced into the hospitals drive way to interrupt the entire joyous moment. His white shirt was flashing red and blue as he gazed down at his hands, but when he looked back up he saw something caught his eye.
A man was helping a woman out of a cab across the street. He was holding her hand and after she climbed her way out of the car he kissed her cheek. She smiled back at him and took his hand in hers and off they went. Dan's smile was wiped off his face and he looked down at his own hands. You're such a gentleman. He heard the same laugh that he heard in the hospital, echoing through his brain. He heard the whisper of his name again, and he looked back over at the ambulance, as a young girl was being taken out of the ambulance. He swallowed hard wondering if her eyes were open and she could see the snow falling, and if she could, if it made her smile, if it gave her more hope to be strong.
He wasn't as numb anymore and began to get extremely cold. The couple he was looking at across the street were already half way down the street, out of sight. He looked back up at the towering buildings, the feeling of insignificance overcoming him once again. Nineteen is far too young for someone to be in this condition. He closed his eyes and let the snow hit his face, the cold hitting him harder and harder with every snowflake. Nineteen is far too young for someone to be in this condition. He was so consumed with his own repetitive thoughts that he didn't feel the warm tear roll down his face. He looked back at the hospital automatic doors and felt helpless and insignificant again. Nineteen is far too young for someone to be in this condition. He saw the snow fall through the lights and all he wanted was a different snowy day, any day but tonight would be better. Nineteen is far too young for someone to be in this condition.